Katheryn Gardener: We're with Takalistinia Central News, and, Admiral, we'd like to talk to you about what you've recently unveiled for our largest fleet.
Eleanor J. Maissen: Certainly. Our teams have been working at this for forty years now, and I speak for the entire armed forces when I say that this is the biggest release we've ever done.
KG: Can you tell us more about it?
EM: What you see floating in the sky behind me is a two kilometer-long battleship. The new pride and flagship of our navy: The Illuminator. It serves as both heavy artillery and a carrier for
KG: And why do you call it that?
EM: A number of reasons, actually. It symbolizes the light of humanity.
KG: Any others?
EM: Let me finish. The main weapon on board is capable of turning planets into miniature stars for a short time.
KG: And how does it work?
EM: A large laser triplet mounted on the front of the vehicle has integrated targeting systems for objects at any distance. There's enough energy released in three seconds to power all of our capital planet for five years.
KG: Sounds expensive.
EM: It certainly is. The weapon is only ever for use in dire circumstances, but there should be no confusion over how excited my men are when waiting for our first practical opportunity.
KG: Can you go into any further detail on it?
EM: I don't know the science of it. Much of it is state secret but, luckily, we have the head researcher for the project here now. He'll determine what can and cannot be said.

Admiral Maissen beckons towards a scientist near the helicopter.
Dr. Reginald Fleabottom approaches.

Reginald Fleabottom: What is it, Admiral?
EM: Explain what you can on how the Illuminator's primary weapon functions.
RF: Why, gladly! So, as it turns out, funneling large quantities of energy through a synthetic crystal designed to-
KG: And how much damage do you think it mi-
EM: Oh, that's easy. We're fairly certain we could trigger a supernova if the main cannon is fired in a way that disturbs the core. Running the weapon at maximum power makes that more likely.
KG: Where do you plan to get the energ-
Sycamore Johnson (On radio): We generate it on board with a series of state-of-the-art reactors. They also power the ship. If you're curious, there's no environmental concern, as usual. Excepting the direct environmental damage the weapon might cause when fired at nature.
EM: Thank you, Sycamore.
SJ: No, it's nothing.
RF: May I continue my explanation?
KG: Ah, sorry. We're out of time for this segment.

Admiral Maissen salutes.
The two others follow suit. The camera shakes slightly here, so it is assumed the cameraman did the same.

EM: Hail Takalistinia!
KG: Hail!
RF: Hail.

Admiral Maissen and Dr. Fleabottom return to the helicopter.

KG: Well, that was pretty interesting!

The helicopter gets louder as it takes off.

KG: Alright, back to you at the station.

The camera cuts to the news anchors.

Sarah Harrison: So, Thomas, what do you think of that?
Thomas Tucson: It's great to see the military growing more. You even wonder if we're going to n-
SH: Seeing our first fleet admiral get her hands on the perfect weapon is great for our nation.
TT: Yes, th-
SH: We shouldn't need to remind you all at home, but Maissen is the Commonwealth's first woman to reach the O-10 rank in the military.
TT: . . .
SH: Well, that's all from the military. Next up, after a word from our sponsors, we cover what actions Oligarch Volta plans to take in response to the nonhuman uprising at a mining colony in U-C654887

At this point, several advertisements play.
End of segment.